Steady, fan. Ben Stokes's squad could be approaching the next Ashes Test already 2-0 down, yet some remain in English cricket is fazed. There is one group tailor-made for these circumstances, a dedicated unit who are arguably the ultimate experts in defeat. Have your dreams been shattered? Are you crushed beneath the pressure of failed hopes? Then it's time, join the Barmy Army.
Even now, their early arrivals are gathering in Adelaide, the city where they were established 30 years ago. England's best-known – and for their size most vocal – travelling fans will be anticipating an anniversary win-against-the-odds, similar to the one they celebrated on that mid-90s tour. And regardless of the result on the pitch, away from the field the revelries will be long and loud.
"The on-field action been very, very disappointing," one founder concedes, "yet we're the blessed group, because we're on holiday. It's perhaps harder for the people at home."
Despite a dramatic batting collapse doesn't trouble this group of hardened veterans. They've been enduring England's top-order failures since before a new generation started playing. They've seen more dropped catches than some bowlers have career scalps. Their touring history as an Ashes touring group stands at: played 37, lost 27, won 6. If anyone knows how to endure a clean sweep, that would be the original supporters.
Certainly, on television, the Barmy Army appear to be ubiquitous this series. TV directors at the grounds sometimes appear more focused on the Barmies than in their own fans. Sports networks often use them as atmosphere-building lead-in to a day's play. Remarkably the players on the field are heralding them, as someone clad as a king starting a chorus of a patriotic song.
It's possible that the Barmy Army's mix of history and omnipresence has now obscured quite how stunning their dominance of tourist following has been. Thirty years in the past a few followers were drawn together in comical humour about failure at England's woeful away record. Now their legacy is so intertwined with the national team that their vibrant, "unique" crowd is virtually part of the furniture. They've definitely come a great distance since the humble beginnings.
One original recalls the excited anticipation of the series start of that pioneering tour. After the opposition building a solid score, he initiated a six-person conga in the stands, winding up the locals with a chant about historical figures. "Local crowds shouted insults at us, then threw drink containers – the treatment that we still get today," he remembers. "However when we got back our modest following of England followers had all joined in."
Following a loss, England's tour continued to struggle. Anyone backing the team around the country must have been slightly mad. By the time the later Tests their crowd had grown significantly. The squad, however, came to value their presence at the grounds. When England secured a consolation win, a team captain summoned a fan leader up to the victory celebration to direct the festivities. This connection has endured.
Furthermore, the large crowds the Barmy Army can conjure are as attractive to the sport as they are to host grounds. On this tour alone, their official tours will accommodate a significant contingent of fans on tour. Numerous events are planned for the significant birthday.
This is, after all, an entity born of cricketing passion and entrepreneurial spirit. The explanation they date themselves to a Adelaide game is because that was when they started producing souvenir shirts. The first small batch was so instantly popular – and lucrative – that it launched a thriving business. From that point, the original members have helped turn a pub-based supporters into an industry-leading travel company.
That carries its own issues, particularly at a time when sport is attempting to move beyond some of its rowdy image. The Barmy Army's leadership are quick to note that a significant portion of their clientele are now women. As norms evolve, the songs have had to get cleaner, too. "Comments that were acceptable 30 years ago you cannot utter today, and that's absolutely right," says a representative. "We can't tell someone how to behave within the confines of their seat, but we will not promote songs that are insulting."
Will the Barmy Army evolve quietly? The mean age of fans is now in the late 40s – mirroring the pioneers, who have been content to distance themselves from the day-to-day running. One founder is enjoying this tour purely as a supporter – leaving young professionals to populate the Barmy Army's online channels. "We forget how difficult it used to be to organise with each other," he chuckles. "We used to do it all by shouting – 'everyone's going to the pub!'"
Regarding the current contest, the faint hope of a series victory persists, which is classic Barmy Army indeed. And if England succumb in Adelaide … well, future travels awaits.
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